Nervous
by the one who breathes nitrogen
Summary: Of course, Tali described her family lovingly and with longing- she hadn't seen them since Thanksgiving. Now it was summer, and it was time for Tanner to face the music. He was nervous as hell.


**Yep. Haven't updated anything in a while… so good that this is a one shot, yes? No? Not sure about this one, but I suppose it's OK. Review, por favor!**

Tanner Williams did not consider himself to be a nervous person. His advanced classes had never deeply bothered him, not had the significant test or the fact that he had student loans through the roof. Even his girlfriend's crazy driving and martial arts abilities had never had him worrying into the wee hours of the night. But the thought of meeting her family did.

Tanner Williams and Tali Dinozzo had been dating for a little over a year, and he'd never met her family. Of course, she'd never met his either, but his only remaining relatives had died when he was nineteen. Tali was about the exact opposite.

Tali was the youngest of three children, Jack, the oldest was a marine, which was frightening in itself. Shannon, the middle child, was a forensic anthropologist working as an intern with the FBI. And Tali was right on track to becoming an NCIS agent, just like her parents. Tanner knew that her family was deeply rooted in the agency, having all worked there together. He knew there was Gibbs, who was as close to a grandpa as Tali had ever gotten, except for someone named Ducky, who was very old and spoiled all the Dinozzo children. Then there was Palmer and his morgue-working wife who Tanner could never remember the name of. Of course, he couldn't forget about Aunt Abby and Uncle McGee and their son, Jethro, a marine with Jack and the boyfriend of Shannon. And last of all was the famous couple themselves, Tony and Ziva Dinozzo.

Of course, Tali described them all lovingly and with longing- she hadn't seen them since Thanksgiving. Now it was summer, and it was time for Tanner to face the music.

He was nervous as hell.

Tali Dinozzo was perfect for him. Her dark hair and green eyes, easy smile and olive skin accentuated her fun and friendly personality. Of course, being the child of Tony and Ziva, Tali also had a serious side. She was not afraid of much- none of the Dinozzo children seemed to be, at least from her stories. Tali told Tanner that her parents had tried to raise them as normal children, but having federal agents and homicide detectives as parents caught up with the kids eventually. The Dinozzo kids apparently knew plenty about investigations and interrogations. But from what Tanner could see, you wouldn't think so.

Tanner could only guess that the other Dinozzo kids could quote movies and remember random facts as well as Tali. He knew from her stories that they would have _all_ made excellent detectives, even Jack, who apparently played stupid in front of authorities. Tali had told Tanner not to be fooled.

"Jack acts stupid so that people except less of him and then, when he shows how smart he is, they're surprised. He really is pretty smart, though. Of course he doesn't act that way in front of his CO, but…" She'd gone on to talk about expectations and assumptions, but Tanner had lost focus watching her talk with her hands.

He rolled over and looked at the clock. 3:27 blinked at him, the blue numbers glared at him in the darkness. Tali had left at 10 o'clock, reluctantly telling him that she still had to pack. Tanner sighed and tried to go back to sleep.

Tali was practically vibrating, she was so excited. Tanner smirked slightly as she leaned, as if willing the car to go faster. They were just outside at Washington D.C., in a nice neighborhood, nothing too fancy. Tanner thought he was pulling off his calm and collected façade fairly well, especially since his eminent doom was roughly 3 blocks away.

Even though Tali thought her family was harmless, Tanner knew better. A cocky Italian father with a gun and sharp eyes, an even sharper Israeli assassin for a mother, an 'ex' marine sniper grandpa, an aunt who could boil him inside out, and a doctor grandfather with knowledge of painful pressure points and a thousand ways to die. Tanner had assembled a threat list.

Least harm to most harm:

Palmer's wife: She was an embalmer!

Palmer: A talkative guy who didn't have much of a reason to be protective, plus, Tali wasn't even sure that he'd be there.

McGee: While he might help Tony tease hime, he'd probably never actually _hurt_ Tanner- not his style, Tali had told him. Tanner hoped that she was right.

Shannon: She was friendly, but she'd been to karate just the same as Tali. And one of her favorite words was castrate.

Abby and Ducky (tie):

Abby: Yes, she could boil him inside out, but the question was really would she actually do it? Tali said that Abby would love him. Still. Inside out.

Ducky: Apparently the worst he'd consider doing was talking Tanner to death, but Tanner was sure that with Tali being the youngest he'd be protective.

Jethro: He was a marine- hello! Plus Tali was like a little sister.

Jack: Tali WAS his little sister.

Ziva: Israeli assassin who occasionally still pinned her husband to the floor, even at the ripe age of 56.

And then, tied for last, Tony and Gibbs. Both had guns and large motives to be protective. And if Tanner didn't toe the line, he was sure they'd be happy to show him to the wonderful world of wheel chairs.

Tanner was feeling his act slip as the pulled into the drive way. The house was a nice tope color with one big tree in front and two in back. A shiny red Mustang, a Mini-Coop, a black sedan, and a few other cars were already parked in the long driveway. Tali bounced as she undid her seatbelt. Tanner's stomach bounced as he undid his. Tali glanced over, finally noticing her boyfriend's unusual pallor.

"Don't worry! Everyone will love you! Come one, I bet Dad's got steaks on the grill," she reassured him.

Just then a single word echoed from somewhere around the house. "CASTRATE!"

Tali grinned wolfishly. "Home at last."

Ziva smiled happily to herself. Tony, Gibbs, Ducky, and McGee were at the grill, talking about taking the boys to a baseball game, she and Abby were making iced tea, and Shannon, Jethro, Jack, and Alex (Jack's girlfriend of four years) were struggling to slice a particularly large watermelon with the rather dull knife Ziva had given them on purpose. It was Shannon who had just threatened to castrate her brother, who was attempting to slice the watermelon using Jethro's head.

Abby smiled brightly. "Once Tali brings her boyfriend, everything will be perfect!"

Ziva smiled as the doorbell rang.

Tali laughed as Tanner pressed the doorbell cautiously and then jumped back. "Relax!" she chided him. A few seconds later, the door was opened to reveal two women. One was taller that the other with streaks of silver in her black hair, which was pulled up into pigtails. She was the definition of goth, minus face paint. But she was smiling, happy to see them. The other woman had her hair in a high pony-tail, the silver highlights blending gracefully with her dark hair.

"Tali!" they both cried, jumping out to embrace her.

"Mom, Aunt Abby!" Tali cried, hugging them tightly. When she let go, she gave them a once over before introducing Tanner.

The taller one, who Tanner took to be Abby, hugged him quickly. "Oh, Tali's told us… well, nothing about you. Well, that's not true, but I couldn't say everything because she's been worse than a-"

"Abby!" Ziva laughed. "Let the boy inhale!"

Abby glanced at her. "Ziva I think you mean 'let the boy breathe.'"

Ziva was obviously confused. "Are you sure? They are the same thing, almost."

Abby shrugged. "Breathing is actually both inhaling and exhaling, but inhaling would be more a an issue if someone was crowding you…"

Ziva shook her head. "Thirty-some years later and your silly idioms still drive me up the hall- wall! Wall! And the breathing one isn't necessarily American either!"

Tali smiled and looped her arm in Tanner's. "Where is everybody?"

"Backyard," Ziva replied, pulling her daughter in. They walked through the living room and kitchen. Tanner noticed the gun and cleaning kit on the coffee table with acute horror. Ziva flung open the sliding glass door and the family peered in.

Tanner surveyed his surroundings nervously. Four older men stood by the grill, three of which looked like they could take him down if necessary. Two men a few years older than him looked like they could possibly eat him for breakfast and the two girls next to them look like they held the leashes. And every single one of them was looking at him.

"Tali!" someone shouted, and the family moved forward as a mass to greet its youngest member. After a few minutes of chaotic hugging, the family formed a receiving line of sorts.

Ducky was first. He was elderly, but he smiled kindly and shook Tanner's hand with ease. Then there were Tali's siblings. They all looked alike, with the same hair and easy smiles. Jack looked most like a darker version of Tony with hazel eyes. Shannon looked most like a mini Ziva with green eyes, and Tali was most definitely the mixed child. Then was Alex, Jack's pretty brunette forensic scientist girlfriend and then Jethro, who looked like a fiercer version of a thin McGee, with a hint of Abby in him. McGee smiled kindly and told Tanner not to worry. Then there was the last two.

Anthony Dinozzo and Leroy Jethro Gibbs looked like they were very capable, despite their aged frames. They were as lean as Jack and Jethro, but they could carry guns. And their matching all-knowing half smiles scared Tanner most of all.

Tony had promised Ziva not to scare the kid too much. Tony knew that the kid was alright. After all, he was graduating from Georgetown with Tali next year. The kid had that 'sensitive' look to him, with large eyes and light brown hair and Tali glowed next to him.

Tali had migrated towards her siblings after hugging her father and other father figures tightly. Tanner had stayed by them.

"So… You're gonna be an NCIS agent with Tali, huh?" Tony asked.

Tanner nodded. "Yessir."

Tony laughed lightly to Gibbs. "Breaking rule numero twelve already. I suppose I can't talk."

Gibbs shook his head while McGee nodded. "You broke that rule big time. Only once, but look where it's landed you."

Tony rolled his eyes. "You broke it too, McGeek."

McGee rolled his eyes right back. "You married your _partner_!"

"Well Abby was practically your partner. And it says co-worker, so Abby counts! Anyway, at least we told Gibbs up front!"

Gibbs intervened by slapping them both on the back of their heads. Tanner flinched.

"You've all broken rule twelve," he snapped.

"Uh, sorry," Tanner started, "But what is rule twelve?"

"Never apologize. It's a sign of weakness," Tony, Gibbs, McGee, and Ducky all said in unison.

Tanner raised an eyebrow. "Something tells me that that's not rule twelve."

"Rule number twelve is never date a co-worker," McGee explained.

Tanner laughed. "Well, I guess I wrecked my chances of a perfect record there." He sighed and turned to look at Tali, who was sitting on the tire swing with Alex. Shannon was pushing them as hard as she could (which wasn't a lot), and Jethro and Jack were trying to get her to get on and let them push. He focused n on Tali's laughing face. She saw him and waved. He turned back to her family. "But I'd say that Tali's worth it."

Tony grinned. "The kid's alright. I never got along so well with Ziva's dad…"

Gibbs snorted. "No, you didn't. McGee, go get me a beer."

Later that night, Tanner lay awake in the guest bedroom. The whole family had welcomed him, even Jack and Jethro once they'd almost succeeded in scaring the shit out of him. For dinner, they'd had ravioli. Tanner didn't feel out of place at all as the family yakked about Shannon's latest skeleton or Ducky's new puppy.

Tanner turned over. 11:59 glared back at him from the red digital clock on the bed stand. He slunk out of bed and fumbled around until he found his suitcase. He unzipped the front pocket and felt around for a little black box. He'd do it tomorrow. He glanced at the clock again. Today, then. He swallowed nervousy.

Tanner Williams did not consider himself to be a nervous person. Even under pressure, he'd made a good impression on the Dinozzos and company. But asking permission to propose? That, he decided, would most definitely be harder than saying 'I Do.'

**Still not sure if this is good or bad. Not so sure about the ending, but I've got chores to do. Now if you will excuse me, I'm going to go listen to Artemis Fowl on CD and wash dishes.**


End file.
